God Bless Pie

Ahhhhh, a new week has begun, what adventures lie ahead???

I will say, it is off to a great start!!

I know I'm always telling you stories as I look for love, but I've gotta share this high I'm on tonight ~

Earlier today I had some big decisions to make with my upcoming collection for Ch*Armz, of course the creative side of the decision process was fun (I love that part!) but when it came down to all the other stuff, I was spinning out in my head.

I did not want to freeze & over-think, but yet I've gotta think it through...how much is too much when it comes to thinking?

My gut knew I was on the right path, I just needed to keep reminding my feet to take one step, then another. It was time for action instead of analyzation.

And I did, I took action!

I sit here with a living room full of fabric I adore & now I'm looking at the next step.

Today showed me I do have faith in myself & in my abilities.

I am giddy at the thought of the next few months as I challenge myself to step outside of my fears & believe in me!

My "safe" life is great, but I have dreams for it to be bigger & I can make it bigger!

And of course this pertains to love too!!

I'm working on pushing through my fears of getting hurt & being vulnerable again, believing I'm enough & lovable, but it's not always easy...

Take for instance, Guy #4.

I should've known when he booked the date & said "let's do early on Friday (7p) before we get our night's started".

I hate to say it, but he was my Friday night. 

It may be the romantic in me, but even if we say we're just meeting for drinks, I like to keep the evening open to the possibility of anything, we may hit it off, decide to have dinner, talk for hours, who knows...end up at the beach with our toes in the sand.

OR home 45 minutes later with a box salad & Liz Lemon.

We met at Golden Road Brewery, which is a great casual spot, if you're a beer drinker, which he is not. Odd choice of venue. He ordered wine.

They have the communal dining experience, so our 1st date was joined 2 other couples & a family of 3, nice & intimate ;)

Once we got our drinks & squeezed ourselves into a table, the stand-up routine began.

I thought he was a producer/sax player/movie critic, now we're adding comedian to the mix?

Oh boy!

Oh & he's also a baker, which may have been what lured me on the date to be honest ;)

So, we get to talking about baked goods & here comes the schtick.

He's talking about the "Republic of Pies" somewhere in the Valley, 

my interest is piqued, what's on the menu, where is it, etc...& he gets rolling with its more of a "dictatorship of pies", no wait its an "oligarchy of pies"...is it, is it an oligarchy? he asks....& PULLS OUT HIS PHONE, gotta Google this...yep, yep its an"Oligarchy of Pies"

He's cracking himself up. I wince, fake chuckle & gulp my beer. 

And in a blink of an eye our mini date was done, he had dinner plans.

Points for at least paying for my drink, but they were quickly lost as he couldn't even walk me 3 cars past his to mine.

I like when they make it clear as day that you'd never like to see them again.

Next...

I will say I'm glad Guys 1-4 have gotten me back out there; they've introduced me to some great restaurants, lounges & cuisine.

They have also shown me I need to tune back in to what type of partner I'm looking for & not be so eager to just get to the date.

I want the dates to be fun & be something I look forward to...

I look forward to the endless conversations, the holding hands, the laughing & the sharing as we get to know each other...

I'm diving back in the sea to find my fish.

Guaranteed more stories to follow ;)

In the meantime, I'm curling up with some love letters & great stories.

In a recent trip to Ojai with Mom, we came across this amazing outdoor book store, Bart's Books.

We got lost in there for hours. Mom in reflexology. Me in great love stories of the past.   

 I found an interesting biography of JFK & Jackie's love & life together that I couldn't resist getting, I want behind the story of Camelot. Plus its an old hard cover book, just like good ole library days. It feels so weird to turn actual pages! I love it!

And as I dug through stacks of books, I was drawn to Keats & his love letters to Fanny Brawne...awww the beauty of words!

Look at that gaze!

13 October, 1819

"...My sweet Fanny, will your heart never change? My love, will it? I have no limit to my love now....Your note came in just here. I cannot be happier away from you. 'Tis richer than an Argosy of Pearles. Do not threaten me in jest. I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it. I shudder no more - I could be martyr'd for my Religion - Love is my religion - I could die for that. I could die for you. My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet. You have ravish'd me away by a Power I cannot resist; and yet I could resist til I saw you; and even since I have seen you I have endeavoured often 'to reason against the reason of my Love.' I can do no more - the pain would be too great. I cannot breathe without you.
                                                                                                                  Yours for ever
                                                                                                                        John Keats

And on that note...
xo

Mid-week musings

Alrighty, I'm a month into the Summer of YES, thought I'd check in & give y'all a lil update.
I will say that saying "yes" keeps one's calendar quite full!
Between friends, family, travel, OkCupid & How bout we?, life has been one activity to the next.

My month on How bout we? is up & here's what I've learned from this dating site:
~While the site's intent is to get you offline quicker & out dating, it's like pulling teeth to get the men to actually ask you out, still lots of emails pinging back & forth...boring, let's meet up!
~ Men love the "Intrigued" button...c'mon, man up & actually start a conversation!
~ Men love to put wildly creative 1st dates up, which is quite a fantastic insight to their personality, but has yet to have been the actual 1st date.
~ Women put realistic dates like "let's go for coffee or a drink" 
(which has been what the 1st dates have actually been at the man's suggestion funnily enough)
~ Silly screen names are abundant
~ Like most other sites, some conversations just fade away, never to be heard from again
~ Men in their late 50's still think they've got it
(I am & will always be impressed with men's confidence levels)

While it was fun, I'm logging out of How bout we? for now. 
Heading back to work & figuring time will be limited, I might as well hang out with my good ole freebie pal, OkCupid ;)

Round up of dates from the past month: 3 guys, 7 dates
Guy #1 (OkC), oh you also know him as Chandler Bing, popped back in so unexpectedly that I found myself saying yes before I realized who I was talking to ~ but I said YES!
For our 2nd date, we were gonna hit a story slam that I wanted to go to, but I tend to forget that we live in a city of millions, so if I hear of an event chances are pretty good that at least 2-3 million also heard about it, so with a line weaving around the block, we did not get in...which really was too bad since we'd now be forced to talk over dinner. 
The food was amazing (love finding a new good Mexican food spot!) & with 2 margaritas in me I was fine to let him ramble on about doing background work (mind you, I thought he was an asst. director).
I think we all know there's no more to this story...

Guy #2 (How bout we), caught my attention by pointing out 2 of my likes ~ he wears glasses & enjoys movies.
He recently turned 50, kinda my cap on the older man range, but thought I'd be open to it since we seemed to have similar values & interests. 
First date was fun, good conversation, & he'd picked a cool spot to meet up ~ all encouraging things.
2nd date ~ the eyeglasses stayed on the table the whole time, learned about all the diet restrictions to help lose the few lbs that have crept up since the 5-0, couldn't really answer why his marriage ended, & kept the date going for about an hour & half too long. 
Bad date topics started coming up as we searched for conversation, learned alot during that segment of the date ;)
Wanted to try again for some silly reason & accepted Date #3.
Beautiful restaurant, very romantic, delicious food.
Wished the entire time I was there with someone else.
Things were said, true colors shown & it was confirmed we're not a match.

Guy #3 (How bout we), took about 20 emails to get him to set up a date, which he did by emailing over his # & saying text me in the morning to make plans...ah such the gentleman.
I'll admit that set the tone of very low expectations on my part. 
So when I texted him & he suggested a thai restaurant, I was pleasantly surprised & said yes.
Then I realized he never said a time to meet or sent over the address, a link, nothing.
Being self sufficient, I yelp'ed it, got the address & saw that it was closed.
Dilemma - share this info or let him learn the hard way? 
I figured I'd see if he'd ever set a time & catch this bit of info himself, & if I hadn't heard from him as I left my earlier party, I might mention it via text.
Hours later I get the text saying its closed & scrambling to find a new spot, all while I'm at the party he knows I'm at & he keeps texting! (One thing I hate doing is being on my phone when out with friends, so rude!).
Picks a bar in the middle for both of us, which ends up being Silverlake.
Obnoxiously loud music & waaaaaay too hipster-y for me.
He's a director. Most of the date he was very LA douche-y, name dropping, etc. 
Turned human when he talked about his boys.
But when conversation ran out mid-way, he grabbed my head & pulled me in & started kissing me.
Now it had been a while & I was really really missing kissing, so I gave in, to try him on.
The thing is when you do that, then realize you don't want to be kissing him, it gets really awkward as he keeps trying for the rest of the date...
**GUYS - if you're gonna kiss on the 1st date, wait til the end, let it build! Better yet, leave her wanting you & don't kiss til the 2nd date** 
Felt way too violated to give him another chance.

In my 20's I used to kiss all sorts of guys, but now I really want to be attracted to them as a person first. 
I love kissing, I do. I miss it, but making out just for the "sake of kissing" isn't all that fun anymore. 

Oh, I almost forgot about Guy #4 (OkC), I'm meeting him for drinks on Friday.
His profile sounds great, he bakes delicious goodies ~ of course "yes" let's meet up.
He's a producer of entertainment news & so far our phone chats have been more interview style, but for now I'm writing it off to work-mode...we'll see...


Now I don't take these seriously, but I saw this week's horoscope & could help wishing for a lil truth in it...
I think you & I both know the answer though after the above re-cap ;)

Pisces (February 20-March 20)

Paddleboarding, anyone? The Leo sun lights up your sixth house of health for the next month, calling forth the wellness warrior in you. Last week you sneered at a friend’s tireless green smoothie Instagrams, this week, you’re firing up the blender and asking her for tips on making kale. Romantic Venus cruises into your commitment zone from Monday through August 15 sprinkling serious relationship fairy dust all over your love life. Time to have The Talk, Pisces. 

I've been re-marathoning with 30 Rock lately & enjoying the beauty of Liz Lemon. 

She is unapologetically herself & everything out of her mouth makes me laugh!

The hopeless romantic in me is still clinging to the idea of magical first dates, getting lost in each other where the world around you disappears, falling passionately in love...but with the current date situations & Liz saying quotes like these, it makes me kinda wonder...maybe I do "just want to start a relationship 12 years in"...

Lemon out ~

xo

Had me a blast...

Last night I had an epiphany!

I was at the Hollywood Bowl with a girlfriend for the "Grease Sing-a-long" 

when I realized Grease totally molded my outlook on love & relationships!!

I've always dreamed of magical summers at the beach, playing in the water, walking along the sand, watching beautiful sunsets.

Having that connection where you're the only 2 beings that exist in the world, 

everything else fading to the background.

I know, I know its only a movie, 

but these emotions, these experiences could be real, right?

We could break into song at anytime, right?

 Ahhhh the 50's ~ going for milkshakes, holding hands, nights at the drive-in, sock hops with a guy who's got moves!

Today's version I dream of ~ still milkshakes, holding hands, outdoor screenings & dancing the night away with a man who knows how to twirl me :)

It really hasn't changed all that much (at least for me)

 I realized it also totally explained my attraction to "bad boys" too! Oh, those T-birds were sexy!!
I spent a good part of my 20's chasing rock-a-billy boys & drooling over their fitted & cuffed dark jeans, tight white t-shirts & leather jackets.
But you know what I learned:
~ their attitude ain't worth it in the end
~ they're really not original
~ they never grow up

Fun to look at, but I want a real man now!

 If they were to have a reunion, I'd probably be chasing Eugene, the class nerd!

Even down to my style has found its influence from this movie, of course I tend to lean towards the sweet Sandy. I love full skirts & soft dresses, colorful & girly. I feel my most feminine & myself when I'm in a dress.
I used to get upset when people would always describe me as "sweet", I mean what is that? Goody two shoes-y? Sappy? Nice?







Who knows....but now I comfortably own my "sweetness" :)
Momma always said, "you do get more with sugar than salt" 












Wella wop bomb a loo bop, a wop bam boom!!
Here's to SUMMER LOVIN!!!
xo